Just a few of my recent blogs on Sparpeople...

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Week after week I keep planning and saying I am going to do this... and these are the tools I have.. or here is my plan... I just wish I could stop talking so much and just do it.. To be honest I probably have even written a blog that has about the same content.... Why do I plan plan plan.. and not follow through.. Why am I all talk and no action.. Once again I watched the Biggest Loser last night.. I love that show... and seeing Tara kick butt AGAIN... 17weeks ago she weight 294lbs now she weight 159... It isn't the weight loss though.. It is her drive... her push to not quit .. to WIN.. She ran a MARATHON last night.. I cried at the end for her.. actually all of them.. I only wish I had half of Tara's determination and then maybe I would be actually getting somewhere with this...

Monday, May 11, 2009

So I have been planning on going home for Christmas and wanted to lose a decent amount of weight so I can surprise my family.. Not tell them I am trying to lose weight and show up 50 or so lbs lighter.. I am in Florida and they are in Virginia... I saw them last Christmas and it had been 2 years before that since they had seen me and of course I was heavier than before... So this time I wanted it to be different...

Well now I found out my brother got engaged yesterday.. Which I knew was going to happen but what I didn't know was that they are trying to plan for a NOVEMBER wedding THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG... Now I have less time and a way more important event.. I have to look good at this wedding.. I am sick of being FAT... I have gone to two weddings EVER and both of them I looked like a FREAKING whale...One navy blue whale at my sisters wedding and then a freaking black whale at my fiancee brothers wedding...
I also need to say this.. .my brother is three years younger than me.. Just got engaged and already getting married.. by then they will have been together for two years.. I on the other hand have been with Adam for 6 years in December and have been engaged for two years and no plan yet for the wedding.. I am a little jealous.. I am waiting for mine for many reasons...Or should I really say two.. .'MONEY of course is one.. Adam was without a job for 4months or so.. and now with his daughter living with us it is another mouth to feed plus her dog.. I already have 4 dogs two cats and a ferret.... lol... and the biggest reason.. I WILL NOT BE A FAT BRIDE...


I want to go back to the beginning of my blog...where I said I want to lose weight before I go home for christmas. and now my brothers wedding...
WHAT ABOUT ME... I need to be saying I want to lose weight FOR ME.. for my wedding... for my health... SO I CAN HAVE A BABY...
I refuse to marry and get pregnant until I am healthy...

I am just saying.. When am I going to care about myself.. and do for myself like I do and care for everyone else...

Friday, May 15, 2009

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night.. and weighed myself.. lol..yes I have been that crazy lately.. Wanted to see the scale move.. it finally did this morning.. .and I am on my way... I have right over 100lbs to get to my FINAL goal of 158.. So then I sat here for a few minutes and thought.. Why is that my goal weight.. How did I come up with that number.. 3 and half years ago I did get to my smallest weight of 175 and everyone thought I looked good.. at that time my goal was 165.. So while I never reached it.. I was happy I guess...but now.. I want to lose even more... I am not sure my reason for it.. but I know that I want it...
not 155 not 160.. 158... So I was wondering if anyone else had a weird number to reach...
I know that my first big goal was to get to 175 for my brothers wedding in the end of November and the go from there...
was 265 when I found that out so I needed to lose 90 lbs... so now I need to lose 84.8lbs.. and that was just in the past week.. so I really think once I get into this FULL FORCE.. .I can do it...
and once again I am rambling.. Sorry