This is not really about weight loss.. Well not at the begining...but in the end this makes it even better... I had a friend in school named Heather.. Actually we were best friends since I think second grade... We did everything together... Why do things change... ??? It is hard to say what really happened... She was 17 when she moved to New York and got married.. I was left in Virginia.. All we had seemed gone.. We still kept in touch and I was SOOOO happy for her.. but it was just different... I had my life she had hers... I ended up dating Adam and the next thing I new and it was almost 5 years later since I have talken to her.. It was me really... I am not sure exactly why... but I knew that she had tried finding me a couple of times.... and I never responded... WHY?? she and I had been there for each other for everything.... How could I do that to our friendship.... Well.. I know why... I hate myself.. I have no confidence.....and I am fat... I couldnt deal with me real feelings.. so I let a little comment made mess up everything... Back then I couldnt see that..I do know... I am fatter then I have ever been.. But NOW I am doing something about it... Heather contacted me yesterday... I was so happy... She sent me some pictures... and we even texted back and forth some... We plan to stay in touch as much as possible... but it made me realize that I am the problem.. I want to sabatoge anything good in my life... I am miserable inside... why bother trying to be happy... I love Adam and we are doing great... but inside... I need a change.. not from him... MYSELF... Why am I allowing myself to be this heavy, unhappy, and well FAT.... I had gotten down to 175lbs almost 3 years ago and I know that it was hard but I did it.. I was happy.. but some things happened and I buckled under pressure... Just what I let happen with Heather.. I realize that my weight problem is not just food it is how I think about myself and what I have let myself become..
So you guys have been around for a while now reading all about me.. Thank you..I want you to know that I am not giving up on myself ANYMORE... I want to add 10 years on to my life.. I want to be healthy so I can have a healthy baby... I want to be HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am happy for the love of my life Adam
I am happy for the reunion of my best friend Heather
I am happy for my friend and her baby and another one on its way
I am happy for my grandmother to moving in with me soon
I am happy that for the first time in my life.. I am going to lose weight for me
I am happy that for the first time in my life.. I am going to be happy with me
I AM HAPPY
This is the way I am going to look at things.. Be happy for what I have but realize to be happy about other things.. like weight,fitness, and friendship.. Only I can change that....
Thanks again for stopping by,
Kristin
1 comment:
Hey girl! I just wanted to let you know that I am very proud of you and that your blog really meant alot to me. I will be there for you in anyway I can. I love you and wish you the best on your weight loss journey. I also want you to realize that I've always loved you the way you were it doesn't matter how much you weigh in my eyes. I know you want to do this for yourself and I KNOW that you can do it. I will also be praying for you. Your best friend Heather
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