I am not sure what I should be doing... I have all of the tools and support and motivation that I need to succeed but the last few days I have been soooooo tired and not wanting to even get out of bed... I try... I say ok.. I will snooze one time.. and on my phone that is only a 5 minute snooze... ONE HOUR later this morning I get up... I know that I need to and I really want to ... so why didnt I get up.. I just wonder what is it going to take for me to get my fat butt up and do something about it... I want this soooo bad.. .I need this... and I am embarrassed about my body... What humilation is it going to take to make me go... that is it... I am doing this... I am not saying that i have fallen off of the wagon, because I am still eating healthy and still exercising.. I am just not giving it my all. WHY..... WHY........ WHY.........
I have had someone that has succeeded and proved what she is made of and has become a mentor/trainer/support system.. She believed in my want and gave me every tool I think of to succeed... I started following yesterday... So maybe I can say I did ok.. but I would have been ashamed if that was my one chance to prove myself to her and say hey you went out on a limb for me.. Look what I have done for you.... Well this crazy up and down side to side... backwards forward SHIT has got to stop.. I am better than this... I am not going to be unhealthy for the rest of my life.. I know that this is going to be a LIFE struggle...but I know that one I get over some of the first few hurdles... I will keep going and make it.. I know I can do this....
SO TIRED.... Dont want to get out of the bed
SO TIRED.... Of being fat
SO TIRED.... Of letting myself down
SO TIRED.... Of letting everyone down
SO TIRED.... OF BEING TIRED........... What are you tired of?
2 comments:
Me, too! I really want to get up in the AM and workout. My daughter sleeps till about 6:30 and I usually get up at 5:45 to get ready for work before she wakes up. There is nothing stopping me from getting up at 5 and going for a quick jog, except for the stupid snooze! Maybe I'll commit to getting up early tomorrow and giving it a try. We'll see how that goes!
You can do this. It's hard, some days are easier than others. Look at what you are doing over the long haul and don't come down too hard on yourself. You can do it - find a time that works well for you. It might not be sooo early in the morning, but after work instead. Just find a time when you know you can get it done.
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